How to deal with the dreaded Red Ring of Death.

Someone on my Facebook just reported they had the RROD on their XBOX. I decided to be non-constructive and write a step by step guide with how to deal with it. However, in the time it took me, they fixed it.. by standing it up.. so I will immortalise my petty humour here!

Step 1: Do you have warranty left?
If Yes, go to Step 2.
If No, go to Step 3.

Step 2: Get it fixed on warranty.
Win.

Step 3: Are you drunk?
If Yes, go to step 4.
If No, go to step 5.

Step 4: Pull out your hair, throw it out of the window and commit a serious crime such as assault, rape or robbery. Do you get caught by the Police?
If Yes, go to step 7.
If No, go to step 6.

Step 5: Look on Google for websites such as this http://www.instructables.com/id/Fix-the-Red-Ring-of-Deathwithout-towels/ and see if you can fix it. Do you fix it?
If Yes, Win.
If No, go to step 6:

Step 6: Buy a PS3.
Win.

Step 7: Purchase a Soap-On-A-Rope with your Prisoners Wage.
Lose.